Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
