so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
