I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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