Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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