You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
