He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
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