She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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