party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Well I just put wine in my tea
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
