see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Floor bacon is actually really good
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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