we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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