Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Boobs are out for the taking
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
