what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
