hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize