dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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