I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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