real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
