My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
