My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
