Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize