You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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