yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
When are your genitals available?
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I can't trust your balls anymore.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
