The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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