so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
