I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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