i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize