I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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