So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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