just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
