How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
