It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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