my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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