So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
