I could have mohawked her pubes.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
