so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
