Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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