It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
