Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
