Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
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