just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
