I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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