Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Randomize
