Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
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