i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
