i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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