I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Randomize
