Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize