I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I wear drunk well.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
