Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
