I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
