those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
