I must be too annoying 4 u.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
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