I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
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