Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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