K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Randomize
