Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
