Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
