i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
