he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
