I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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