So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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