How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
