I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize