the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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