Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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