i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize