tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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