hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
