Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
