I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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