I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
